Sugarcane

You figure the only thing you really want from a butler is a friend, not a cook, so you decide to bring him on board. You shake his hand, help him put his dentures back in and walk him to the door.\n\n[[Continue|Butler End]]

Well, let's say the Butler did it. That would mean no more Liver and Eggs with Gravy, your favorite dish. It's not the fanciest meal you've ever had, and he could certainly cook something with more flair, but there's something about the way he makes Liver and Eggs with Gravy that puts you in a mood.\n\nYou don't know if you could find someone that makes Liver and Eggs with Gravy like he does, but you could try.\n\n[[Conduct interviews for new butler|Butler Main #2]]\n[[Accuse the maid|Maid Main #1]]

Your ad in the local paper brought three applicants.\n\n[[Continue|Wattlemouth #1]]

Well, that settles it. Looks like you've got this whole case figured out. You look at yourself with a look of contentedness. You had no idea you had it in you. You're like a modern Poirot. You knew so much about everything, it's as if you committed the murder yourself.\n\n[[Continue|Maid Main #6]]

A murder at the Mothersbough Residence occured at 4:50AM last night. Who did it?\n\n[[The Butler|Butler Main #1]]\n[[The Maid|Maid Main #1]]

Sure is sad, though, about your maid. It sure was nice to have someone around to help, what with your wife being pregnant. You reckon you'll miss her, but a criminal's a criminal. She'll be out in a decade or two and you'll offer her a job again. If she takes it, you decide you'll never put her through this again.\n\nTHE END

Let's suppose the Maid was the murderer. How did she do it?\n\n[[With a knife|Maid Main #2]]\n[[With her bare hands|Maid Main #2]]\n[[Poison|Maid Main #2]]\n[[Who knows|Maid Main #2]]

Was it premeditated or a crime of passion?\n\n[[Crime of passion|Maid Main #4]]\n[[Premeditated|Maid Main #4]]\n[[I'm not sure|Maid Main #4]]

Inexplicably, as if controlled by some external force, you decide to hire him. Even though you have no reason to, he was rude, he can't cook, he's not willing to do any real work besides cash in on the name he's earned. Still, though, I guess you found something about him you like. Please don't say you hired specifically for the British accent. For God's sake, I could do an impression of Tim Curry and get hired as your accountant, couldn't I?\n\n[[Continue|Butler End]]

You suspected your Butler was the murderer, but it has started to seem rather farfetched. I mean, come on, your Butler? He wouldn't hurt a fly. No, it had to be someone else. But who?\n\n[[The Maid|Maid Main #1]]\n[[The world may never know|The World May Never Know]]

You've heard his name before, you need no introduction nor interview. You hire him there on the spot and get him to start immediately. Well, within the next few weeks.\n\n[[Continue|Butler End]]

Over dinner, you two talk about the culture of the 50's and his childhood and other boring things. You decide asking him to make Liver and Eggs with Gravy would be asking a bit much of your senile guest and commit yourself to making a decision now.\n\n[[Turn him down|Turn Dinkle Down]]\n[[Hire him|Hire Dinkle]]

2. Henry Dinkle, age 68, was up for the job of Queen's butler several years ago, though he was turned down. He seems a rather slow, fragile man, but somewhat capable. You wonder if you'll have to start taking care of him in a few years. It really didn't bother you much, you'd always wanted kids, but your wife was barren. That's probably why you resented her.\n\nUpon asking him about cooking, he responds by pointing towards your kitchen and a slow nod. You ask him if that means if he can cook or if he's hungry. He nods again. So you make some pasta.\n\n[[Continue|Dinkle #2]]

And so, your trusted Butler and pal goes on trial and into jail, where he belonged all along, you suspect. Now that you think about it, you remember some creepy looks he's given you over the years. You're lucky you're not the one who was murdered.\n\nTHE END

He looks slightly offended, as if his name does not carry enough weight that he must do simple cooking to earn a job. He does a little huffing and some slight puffing, but eventually makes his way to the kitchen.\n\nAfter several hours of waiting, you go inside to check on him and find baking materials covering the walls and counters. Upon pressing Sydney for an answer, you realize he is unconscious and slumped against the wall, slathered in gravy mix.\n\nYou should now have all the information you need to make your decision.\n\n[[Turn him down|Turn Feltzworth Down]]\n[[Hire him|Hire Feltzworth #2]]

Mr. Feltzworth is an accomplished cook, one who has graduated from every culinary university in London, which sounds fancier than it is, there are only 3. Still, though, 3 universities, that's a lot. You couldn't do that, I bet. You couldn't even graduate from High School.\n\nSydney is not one to judge, though, and he likes the mood of the house. He's willing to work for you, you should probably just hire him off that alone. Whaddya say?\n\n[[Have him cook Liver and Eggs with Gravy|Feltzworth #3]]\n[[Hire him|Hire Feltzworth #1]]

3. Sydney Feltzworth, a proper english butler who has butled for 30 years, walks through your door and asks permission to come inside.\n\nYou are immediately impressed with his appearance and regalia that is of a distinguished British man. You are not British yourself, but you have always admired how the British carried themselves. Although, you're not one for a sense of humor. Sorry, humour.\n\n[[Continue|Feltzworth #2]]

She thanks you and shakes your hand. Her hands are hot, but yet clammy. As she walks out, a knife covered in blood falls out of her pocket and onto the floor. \n\nYou pick it up and hand it to her. "What a clumsy girl.", you think to yourself.\n\n[[Continue|Butler End]]

Even though he doesn't seem to hear you, you imagine he's probably pretty bummed about it. You feel sort of bad about the whole thing, so you drive him home and help him up to his apartment on the 4th floor.\n\nYou don't know why you thought this thought, but, when you saw a picture of his granddaughter on his bureau, it just popped into your head that you would never frame this guy for anything, especially murder. It was totally out of the blue, though.\n\n[[Continue|Feltzworth #1]]

Lord of the Manor

1. Jocelyn Wattlemouth, age 23, Jocelyn graduated from Livingston University at the tender age of 19, majoring in Home Economics with a Archaeology minor. She's a bit of a stick in the mud, but she seems nice enough. You wonder if you'll be able to wander around in your underwear comfortably like with your current butler. You don't want to be biased, but you always had a man as a butler and are uncomfortable with such a radical change.\n\n[[Continue|Wattlemouth #2]]

She waddles off to the kitchen, gets herself acclimated, and a half an hour later she comes out with a plate that has on it one dark red lump and two white lumps with a side of brown lump.\n\nAfter a taste of each colorful pile, you feel incredibly unimpressed. It's edible, but bland. If your Butler is the murderer, this hardly seems like his replacement. Still, though, you feel an odd obligation to hire her, as if you'd promised her you would.\n\n[[Turn her down|Turn Jocelyn Down]]\n[[Hire her|Hire Jocelyn]]

Jocelyn's eyes turn furious immediately after the words "I'm sorry, I won't require your services, Jocelyn." She's screams something you can't make out, but you know sounded like a threat, and slams the door.\n\n[[On to Applicant #2|Dinkle #1]]

Quite true. The world may never know.\n\nTHE END

What was the motive?\n\n[[Love of money|Maid Main #5]]\n[[Money for love|Maid Main #5]]\n[[Definitely something, I'll bet|Maid Main #5]]

Feltzworth wakes up with a sticky note in his forehead that reads, "I'm sorry, Feltzworth, I will not require your services." His face grows red and he goes home.\n\nIt's a good thing he didn't get too angry, after all, you and your wife were asleep in your bedroom and he was alone in the kitchen where you keep your cutlery. Fortunately, he just took off and was seen again.\n\n[[Continue|Couldn't Find A Replacement]]

Nick Romano